Christian Support for Depression

One Stolen Moment

2011-06-04T18:35:00.000-07:00

Lately my life has been reduced to one purpose: figure out how to get what I want but don’t have. And since that list includes every important aspect of what makes life worth living, it’s pretty damn high on my list of priorities. In my desperation, I’ve abandoned all restraints, cut loose in search of anything that gives me a feeling of importance, no matter how temporary or cheap.

The other day, while I was so occupied, there was one stolen moment I cherished. I had a feeling of peace, contentment and the kind of affirmation you feel when you’re with someone who likes being with you. In that moment I felt peaceful, relaxed, happy and satisfied.

My whole life, I’ve been searching for that kind of feeling. Some people live in it, I’ve only seen glimpses of it.

Still, if my wish came true, I would give up all material possessions just to have that feeling linger and be part of my life.

When you don't get what you want

2011-05-30T20:57:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I get a comment on one of my posts, I go back and read some of what I wrote earlier at different periods of time in my life. Occasionally I find that the words I've written during previous challenging times encourage my own heart now in this time.

I was reflecting on where I've been and where I am now when the phrase "abandon all restraints" came to mind.

I've prayed and prayed and so far haven't gotten what I wanted, so I kind of got mad and abandoned all restraints in that I've just been doing whatever I want, my conscience be damned. And so far, for the most part, my conscience has left me alone.

Except for the irritating feeling that I'm still not where I want to be and still don't have what I want and that I might be going about getting it the wrong way.

I was curious what I would find if I googled the phrase "abandon all restraints" so I did. I was expecting negative associations with this phrase, fire and brimstone preaching about "this is what will happen to you if you abandon all restraints" but this is what I found instead:

It is a long one, so I will give you the link where I found it. http://66.96.80.122/publications/sermons/jcbsermons/a-prayer-forallof-it.html

I am not posting the entire article. I cut out some of the ramblings inbetween what I thought was the main message. So, grab yourself a cup of coffee and take a break from whatever is on your mind that might be troubling you and see life through the eyes of a complete stranger for this small window of time.

Thank you to the author, Jan Carlsson-Bull whom I do not know
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A Prayer for All of It
Jan Carlsson-Bull December 31, 2000

When I mentioned to a friend what I was going to preach about today, he went instantly into consultant mode. A Prayer for All of It, he mused. "Well, there's the Lord's Prayer." Most folks know about this. "And it's short." That's definitely a plus. But considering the times we live in, he noted, further brevity is called for, so why not boil it down to this? "Give me." Kind of like what we might have said to Santa, as those of us who are children sat wide-eyed on his lap, hoping for whatever, hyped with the hoping, consumed with consuming. There they are, God and Santa, with their interchangeable bag of goodies.

Far beneath the willful "Give me," whether directed to God or Santa, is, I think, a deeper longing, a longing that grows inside us as we grow inside ourselves. It's that longing to be filled with a knowledge of why we're here at all, an assurance that we matter, a sense of purpose and presence, perhaps even that understanding beyond understanding that our Buddhist friends call "the nature of mind." And it comes not through grasping, not through the Give me's, but through simple and disciplined pausing on the edge of our days and catching, in the words of Linda Rousseau, those "early morning streamings." It comes in opening the eyes of our soul to those "endless frames that disclose a deeper self" and take us on a journey beyond self.

I think that's what I was yearning for when, at the outset of this new year, I stood on a hillside in the Berkshires, in the shadows of a great bonfire. I breathed in the chill of the winter's night and gazed at stars that flamed millions of light-years away, beyond all season, barely within my understanding of time itself. I was part of it. I was a speck that mattered. I was matter that breathed with the universe. And so I greeted this year. Then back into the company of friends I walked, into the solid structure of a people-filled farmhouse, to hail once again what some call the new millennium.

"When trees rest, growing no leaves, gathering no light, they let in sky and trace themselves delicately against dawns and sunsets." How like those trees we are, when allowed for awhile to know the landscape in silhouette, to stand rooted with our bare bones into the frozen earth of winter, we let the sky in and trace ourselves against our dawns and sunsets.
How like those trees we are, when loss and trial render us inclined to utter only what matters. And uttering only what matters is speaking the language of prayer.

Every Christmas card and holiday greeting that arrives, I open with anticipation and apprehension. Will it just be a Merry Christmas or a Peace on Earth, greetings that leave me wondering about all that wasn't said? Will it be more than I ever wanted to know about what these folks are about-the menu at their family reunion, the exact route of their summer vacation? On occasion a greeting emerges that cradles the essence of what matters. This was the case when I opened the annual letter from those friends of many years who inhabit the farmhouse that overlooked that millennial bonfire in the Berkshires. It had been a year of profound loss and trial for these friends, and they began with a prayer shared at their Millennium celebration, a prayer that spoke to the year:

"Grant us the courage to cope creatively with the normal brokenness of life, that we might contribute to the sparkle and humor and beauty of the world."
How normal is life's brokenness! How accessible are life's sparkle and humor and beauty. It all came packaged in the words of a story sent to me by another friend, a story that could have happened to any of us. A mother tells this tale of her Christmas Gift:

We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Justin in a high chair. We looked over the menu and ordered. Suddenly, Justin squealed with delight and uttered a boisterous, "Hi! Hi!" He pounded his fat baby hands on his tray. His eyes were wide with excitement and his mouth widened in a toothless grin.
I looked around and spotted the source of his merriment-- a man with a tattered rag of a coat, filthy and worn. The zipper of his baggy pants was at half-mast and his toes poked out of his sorry shoes. His hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map. We were too far from him to tell, but I was sure he smelled. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists.

"Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster," the man said to Justin. My husband and I exchanged looks, "What do we do?" Justin continued to laugh and wave back. Everyone in the restaurant looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby.

Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, "Do ya know patty cake? Do ya know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek-a-boo." Nobody thought this guy was cute. He was just drunk. We ate in embarrassed silence--except for Justin, who was running through his full repertoire for this admiring bum.
We got through our meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between the door and me.

"Just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Justin," I muttered. As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him. As I did, Justin leaned over my arm, reaching with both of his in a baby's "pick-me-up" position. Before I could stop him, Justin had flung himself into the arms of this creature.
In an act of total trust, love, and submission, Justin laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder. The man's eyes closed, and tears hovered beneath his lashes. His aged hands, full of grime, pain, and hard labor, gently, so gently, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time.

I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Justin in his arms for a moment, and then his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, "You take care of this baby." Somehow I managed, "I will," from a throat that contained a stone. He pried Justin from his chest-unwillingly, longingly. I received my baby, as the man said, "God bless you, ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift."
I said nothing more than a tight-throated thanks. With Justin in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Justin so tightly. I had just experienced the spirit of Christmas through the innocence of a child who saw nothing amiss, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a woman of faith who was blind, holding a child of faith who was not. What could I say, but "Forgive me."

Our own prayers-with the brokenness we have known, the sparkle and pleasure and delight we have reveled in-come most freely when we pause on life's edge or are unexpectedly invited to life's edge, and utter simply what is there. Sometimes, it's an inevitable: "Forgive me" that rises up from an encounter we never could have predicted, never, but by which we are abundantly blessed.

I am reminded of the words we sang earlier:
"A life is made of many things: bright stars, bleak years, and broken rings,from deep despair and perished things a green shoot always, always springs, and something always, always sings."

If only we will still ourselves enough to hear the song. If only we will awaken in time to know those "early morning streamings." If only we will pause enough to consider that which comes from loosening the bonds of our oppressions. If only we will bare ourselves enough to let it all in, that we might let it all out. If only we will "cope creatively with the normal brokenness of life, that we might contribute to the sparkle and humor and beauty of the world."
"Give me" as the most spare and basic of prayers? Turn it inside out and know that "all life is a gift." Father Jean-Pierre de Caussade, a French Jesuit priest understood this well. From 300 years ago, he speaks to us this morning:

"God is telling you, dear sisters and brothers,
That if you abandon all restraints,
Carry your wishes to their farthest limits,
Open your heart boundlessly,
There is not a single moment when you will not be shown
Everything you can possibly wish for.
Souls who can recognize God
In the most trivial,
The most grievous and the most mortifying things
That happen to them in their lives,
Honour everything equally with delight and rejoicing,
And welcome with open arms

What others dread and avoid." Just as Justin welcomed with his open arms what others dread and avoid.

If I stand at the center of my own life, stand stark still at the very center of my own precious life, the prayer that rises up through the center of my being is this: Thank you.

Damn my conscience. Damn, damn, damn.

2011-02-15T16:02:00.000-08:00

...I heard myself speak out loud as I drove home from my psychotherapy group pondering the assignment given on problem solving. I thought, "I wouldn't have this problem if I was comfortable living in sin." Ever since I became a Christian, my conscience wouldn't let me do what I want to do. At least not comfortably. My conscience has always betrayed me. But as a Christian, it's even worse. Or better, depending on your perspective. I still wait and hope for what seems to be impossible by the world's standards.

"I can't get no satisfaction, though I try, and I try..." But giving in to temptation is only temporary. I want the good, the lasting, the true. I've asked in Jesus name, I've knocked and am waiting for the door to be opened. I keep asking and knocking and waiting. How much longer? Is my answer no? There's so much I don't understand. Have I messed up so bad that even God can't make sence of my life now? I have no answers, only questions. And I don't know how not to want somethig I don't have.

I don't know about anyone else, but for me, it helps to understand the reasons why. If I knew the waiting would make sence someday, or if there is a purpose in it that I'm not aware of yet, maybe all this would be somehow easier.

Where does hope come from anyway? Does it suddently appear when you least expect it? Or is it like in the Wizard of Oz, something you've had all along? I better keep watch, just in case.

Give Us Grace

2011-02-05T16:44:00.000-08:00

For those of us who find ourselves going through depression and anxiety.

This is what came to my mind as I share with Lynne:

Give yourself grace. You didn't do anything wrong. What you are suffering is real, painful and uncomfortable. There is no shame in having experienced episodes of depression/anxiety. So many of us have also. The important thing is to recognize it and seek help as you have and continue to do. Fear of fear is a good way to describe the craziness of anxiety.

Anxiety is defined as: distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune. [He felt anxiety about the possible loss of his job.]
The example above illustrates that the fear of anxiety is based on what may or may not be true.

Look at it logically like computer programming language. If [fear] = True, then [Take Action A]. If [fear] = False, then [Take Action B].

I understand the feeling of grief while going through depression and anxiety. It is very real. But you can get through it as many times as you have to. Keep in close contact with your doctor regarding meds. Cry when you need to. It hurts but it is cleansing and does seem to release the painful emotions. If you have to, give yourself a set amount of time to cry and then be done with it and move onto something else. Eat, drink plenty of liquids and sleep, sleep, sleep when you can.

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Other things I have found helpful while in the midst of turmoil are:

Stimulating other senses, such as sight, sound, smell, touch. This is soothing and distracts from the emotional pain. I find a hot bath comforting. Other suggestions are a hot drink, or cold drink. Going outside and touching surfaces with texture such as tree bark, rocks, leaves, etc. Taking pictures, painting, or some type of craft or hobby. Watching a movie or favorite TV program. Talking with a friend or family member. Smelling flowers or scented candles.

Please comment with other helpful ideas!

Freedom is Forgiveness

2011-02-05T16:23:00.000-08:00

Forgiveness

Because we are vulnerable, we experience hurt in our lives. Pain resulting from a blow to our self-esteem can cause humiliation and shame. Although the injury may be imagined, we can feel real pain. If this turns into resentment we recall the painful details and feel the emotions of the experience as though it happened yesterday. The memory may seem haunting, and we will wish to be free of it.

Treatment can help us end dwelling on the past that resentments or holding grudges can cause. It may allow us to think about past grievances without feeling pain. We will see our lives as a journey where forgiveness serves as a way station where we can unload the extra luggage of resentments, and then we can travel more lightly and swiftly.

Resentment is the result of not forgiving. It makes us unwilling to let go of our past hurts, as though letting go somehow defeat our opportunity for justice. We will see that no matter how right we might feel resentment keep us “victims” and cannot protect us from “future hurt”. On the other hand, forgiveness often “frees” us of resentment, helping us to let go of the past and “heal old wounds.”

Forgiveness is important for three reasons. First, forgiveness frees us from resentment. Since resentment is the number one obstacle for many people in recovery programs, forgiveness is essential to our wellbeing. Forgiving lets go of any claim on another for retribution. “We do not seek revenge.” Second, forgiveness can heal relationships. It allows us to make progress in our lives. People who report being “stuck” in their recovery might examine whether or not they need to forgive someone in their past. Third, forgiveness leads to freedom, giving us more spiritual energy to concentrate on positive things. Forgiveness releases us from resentments that wear us out spiritually and psychologically.

It is also important that we know what forgiving does not do. Forgiving does not change the other person or protect us from future harm. Forgiveness is not a suit of armor that shields us from injury, nor does it give license to others to do whatever they want to us in the future. Although forgiving releases others from any claims we have on them, it does not release them from their conscience of legal consequences of their behavior. Forgiveness does not excuse us from responsibly confronting or informing people of we were hurt or injured by their behavior.

When we forgive others we pardon them for a fault or an offense-we let go of any anger or resentment against them. We stop acting like a judge waiting to pass sentence. We grant pardon without holding a grudge.

The act of forgiveness frees us from resentments. Forgiveness is letting go of painful memories. As we forgive we let go of the pain and punishment we inflicted upon ourselves by holding a grudge. Once we let go of the resentment, once we forgive a person, we are relieved of our burden and we open ourselves to receive the gift of “serenity”. The door to our mental prison swings open and we find ourselves on a spiritual hilltop overlooking a valley of peace. We see we were not diminished by forgiving, but empowered. Forgiveness is an act of freedom.
-Author unknown

Self-discipline: correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement
Self-punishment: severe, rough, or disastrous treatment of oneself
Self-pity: indulgent dwelling on one’s sorrows or misfortune
Forgive: to pardon; show mercy to
Mercy: a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion

Matthew 6:12 and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

Thank you to David for sending me this article to encourage us all.

I am absolutely sure...

2010-11-15T15:28:00.001-08:00

I am absolutely sure that we all need to laugh more, have more fun, make more friends and have more conversations.
Life is too short not to enjoy it.

To all who are hurting emotionally and who feel lost and alone...

2010-11-15T13:04:00.000-08:00

You are not alone!

Many times I have reached out to try to help people who suffer like I have. Some efforts have failed. Sometimes I've given up. But every now and again I receive an email from someone who by some small chance, came across this blog out of all the blogs in all the world.

Every so often I hear from one or two who are just looking for one person who will hear their cry for help.

Even thought the small group I started once does not exist anymore and I no longer go to the same church because I've moved away from there. I still get an email once in a while from people who are just desperately searching for someone, anyone who will listen.

I am nobody important. I have no power or influence. I'm not popular.
But I do know what it feels like to suffer emotionally with depression even though the sun is shining.
I know what it feels like to be so full of anxiety that I get sick and hurt all over.
I know what loneliness feels like and what rejection feels like.
I know what it feels like to yearn for something and not be satisfied.

For those of you who have somehow, by some miracle or divine intervention, stumbled across these words in this blog I say to you...

I care.
I understand.
You are not alone.
There is help.

Depression and anxiety can be treated.
You do not have to suffer through life until it is over.
Please please please do not entertain those thoughts of suicide.

How can a train go through a mountain?
There is only one way.
By going through the tunnel.
It will be dark for a while, but there is light and freedom on the other side.

So hold on my friend.
Just like I am.
Maybe we will meet some day in eternity in heaven and rejoice because even though we've never met, our paths crossed and it made a difference.

If anyone reads this post who hasn't received the gift of salvation by the forgiveness of sins through Jesus Christ.
Know this:
The gift is free.
The penalty of sin has been paid.
Your debt is cancelled, your sins are forgiven.
Thank Jesus, the son of God for giving his life on the cross willingly so that we all can be right with God and rejoice with Him for eternity. There we will live in the light of Him who is Love. And we will know love. And He will wipe away all our tears. And He will smile upon us with delight.

The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace. Numbers 6:22-26

When help is a long time coming

2010-11-15T12:45:00.000-08:00

What do you do when help doesn't come and seems like it never will?
Wait.
What do you do when help seems impossible?
Wait.
What do you do when it seems like no one cares enough to help?
Wait.
What do you do when all hope seems lost?
Wait.

I guess when you don't know what to do, all you can do is wait until you do.
I'm still waiting.

When it's hard to believe God is involved in my life, I can at least believe in His character.
Because if there's one thing I believe for sure is that God is not like human beings.

He created the earth and everything in it.

Who else could create a creature like the Pepa Pepa, a frog that births babies on their backs and they come out of little holes in the skin like some kind of crazy alien!

Or fish that light up in the blackness of the bottom of the sea.

Or milkweed which unfolds to release its seeds on the breath of the wind in an amazing geometric design.

Or birds that dance and can flash colors of light on their feathers.

I always feel more peaceful surrounded by nature.

Twin Cities Support Groups

2009-04-29T13:59:00.001-07:00

http://www.mentalhealthmn.org/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC={A133E048-EB1E-446C-9443-0D2FCCDCCA3A}&DE={D6C99522-F82A-43D2-811E-EC47CBA58B00}

Twin Cities support groups via the link above

NAMI support groups

2009-04-29T13:58:00.001-07:00

http://www.namihelps.org/support/support-groups.html

NAMI support groups listed from the link above.

Nationwide Support Group Finder

2009-04-29T13:57:00.001-07:00

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=support_findsupport

Use the link above to find a support group in your state.

New Links Added in the Right Column

2009-04-29T13:27:00.001-07:00

Check out the new links listed to the right. There is an online forum for depression/anxiety issues that has a live chat feature. While searching for local support groups, I came across some other helpful links as well.

Fresh Start Life Groups

2009-04-29T13:22:00.000-07:00

https://freshwaterchurch.ctsmemberconnect.net/home-ctrl.do?view=3&grpId=21915

Sheaves of Joy support group at Fresh Start is currently not in session. In the fall, I plan to start the group up again with a book discussion on The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee.

14 weeks, first night for introductions and book distribution.
Chapter Titles:
1. The Light Comes On
2. The Origin of the Search
3. The Performance Trap
4. God's Answer: Justification
5. Approval Addict
6. God's Answer: Reconciliation
7. The Blame Game
8. God's Answer: Propitiation
9. Shame
10. God's Answer: Regeneration
11. Agent of Change
12. Guilt versus Conviction
13. The Trip In

I've been attending Life Recovery 12-step group. Normally associated with alcohol and drug addiction support, this group is for anyone struggling with a life issue. The steps can be applied in any life crisis where life has become unmanageable. I find it very helpful. Life Recovery is one of the Fresh Start Groups that will continue to meet throughout the summer.

Monday Night Support Groups at Evergreen

2009-04-29T13:15:00.000-07:00

http://www.evergreencc.com/support_recovery/index.shtml

Evergreen's support ministry is no longer called Soul Renewal, but is under the Monday Nights at Evergreen activities.

Monday Nights at Evergreen are filled with hope.
This all-location event includes tools and people to help us get back and stay "on track" in life. We meet weekly from 7:00-8:30 PM through May 2009 in Evergreen-Bloomington's North Hall (Door H) at 2300 East 88th Street Bloomington. Childcare is provided for kids too young for the Job Group.

OUR PURPOSE
Our purpose is to provide support for those seeking freedom from self-destructive lifestyles. We provide a safe place to learn of deliverance and God’s healing power in weekly meetings run by those who are in recovery from the same self-destructive tendencies. We seek to provide ongoing support and growth opportunities for those who are recovering, ensuring continued growth toward integrity in all areas of life.

WHO WE ARE
Those of us who are involved in this program have struggled with issues such as drug addiction, alcoholism, pornography, gambling, uncontrollable anger/fear, depression, and eating disorders. We had tried to change our ways and did better for a while, then we went back to our old ways, if not worse. Cleaning up one area just led to new trouble somewhere else in our lives. We could not change on our own. By recognizing our powerlessness over our tendencies and turning our lives and wills over to God, we were able to begin a lasting process of recovery. Meeting weekly, we make the effort to support each other as we recover from addictive and codependent lifestyles.

STEPS
The Steps to Sanity program is a simple “12 Step” program of recovery. We recognize that lifestyle changes require a process (steps) and generally do not occur instantaneously. By utilizing steps that have worked for thousands of people over the years, we see results that go beyond freedom from alcoholism or drug addiction. These steps start with acknowledging that we have a problem too big for ourselves – problems that we have not been able to control or fix. They go on to point out that only a power greater than ourselves can deliver us, and that God could and would if He were sought. The program goes on to focus on living life in communion with God. These steps move us to integrity in all areas of our lives and result in spiritual growth. This growth creates peace, serenity, joy, and most importantly, a stronger personal relationship with God and others.

Steps to Sanity
7:00-8:30 PM through May 2009 in Evergreen-Bloomington's North Hall (Door H) at 2300 East 88th Street Bloomington
(just south of the Mall of America)

Bridges at Stone Creek

2009-04-29T13:01:00.000-07:00

http://www.bridgesatstonecreek.com/

Bridges at Stone Creek is intensive outpatient mental health therapy by Northland Counseling in Chanhassen Minnesota.

I recently went through Bridges at Stone Creek and found it extremely helpful. The program runs anywhere from 12 to 20 days depending on the needs of the individual. Bridges works in conjunction with Northland Counseling and Stone Creek Psychiatry. Many people who go through the program see a counselor at Northland and are assessed by a psychiatrist from Stone Creek Psychiatry.

Those who enter Bridges often come into the program after having a mental health crisis. This intensive treatment gives ample time and resources for healing and recovery. Aftercare groups meet on Thursdays from 5:30-7:30p.m. at Bridges.

The program is structured into three sections with breaks between each. The first session is group therapy which goes from 9:00-10:30a.m. This group is very helpful especially for those who have been isolated in their emotional struggle.

The second session from 10:30-11:30a.m. is led by Hal Baumchen, co-author of Finding Hope Again. Hal covers information that is helpful in understanding mental health issues, relationships, and communication.

The third session raps up the day at 12:30p.m. and offers life skills for distress management. These are skills that can be learned for managing anxiety and depression.

Covered by most health insurance, this program is an excellent choice of treatment for mental health in a warm, friendly atmosphere.

Where is God in the Wilderness?

2009-02-16T20:02:00.000-08:00

This is something I wrote in my journal Sept. 17th 2004.

Where is God in the Wilderness?
Where you need Him the most.

When you trudge along and have to stop to take a rock out of your shoe. He is the rock you sit on to rest while you get out the thing that's been irritating you. God was in the resting place.

When it's been a hectic day and everything went wrong and you need some peace or you'll go mad, you open the window to get some air and are surprised at what you don't hear. No dog barking, no cars driving by, no airplanes overhead—just the sound of the wind in the trees and crickets. You take a deep breath and decide to enjoy the moment as a gift from God. Then a dog barks, a car drives by, and an airplane flies overhead. But that was your moment. God was in the silence.

It's hot in the desert place. You keep moving forward because you don't know what else to do. But you're getting weary. You're about to faint when a cool breeze blows in from the north and a gentle rain begins to fall. God was in the refreshment.

You are going through a "dark night of the soul." You are tired of struggling and feeling all alone. Just as you think you can't go on another day, the phone rings. It's a friend feeling led to pray for you. God was in the encouragement.

I've come out of the wilderness with compassion for those children of God who have lost their way and for those who don't know God's forgiveness. And with a vision for ministry. A vehicle. God's holy taxi :) to take people from the dark places into the presence of God.

To hear God in the wilderness we have to come to the end of ourselves by seeing what's in our heart and then watch, wait and listen.

He will be where you need Him the most at the time.

Finding Hope Again mid session recap...

2009-02-16T19:25:00.000-08:00

Mid session recap of chapters 1-5 of Finding Hope Again 8-part series.
We are currently half way through the 8-part series of Finding Hope Again by Neil Anderson and Hal Baumchen.

All of you have not been able to attend all four previous lessons, so here is a recap of what we've covered so far.

The first three chapters set the foundation for the entire session, beginning with identifying what depression is and how it affects body, soul and spirit. An important part of the foundation is understanding how depression affects the body and the difference between brain vs. mind.

Chapter four entitled "Overcoming Hopelessness" establishes hope as the anchor of our soul and clearly outlines our identity in Christ, which is crucial to developing a perspective based on the truth of God's Word.

Chapter 5 and 6 were not part of the video series so we've skipped those chapters in the book in our discussion, but they are very important chapters entitled: Knowing Your Heavenly Father and Knowing Yourself.

Chapter 8 is Dealing with Loss. I found this chapter extremely helpful. It explains how to get out of the rut of the cycle of grief. As this book has shown by building a foundation from the beginning, thoughts must change in order for feelings to change. Beliefs set up a foundation for how we respond and interact in the world and people around us. This chapter reveals the key: perception. In any crisis, the first step is to define the crisis and put it in the proper perspective.

1. The Agony of Depression
The scope of the problem is identified as a sad epidemic, the common cold of mental illness. At the time of publishing, 10 million people in the U.S. suffer with depression and increasing at an alarming rate.
• Depression is a complex physical, emotional and spiritual struggle.
• A balanced treatment examines all three areas. Christian support is more common today than it use to be. Christians need not feel ashamed or guilty for having these feelings.
• Depression is defined and physical symptoms are identified
• Mental and emotional symptoms are identified
• Depression self-diagnosis chart
• Emotional pain as a warning signal to "check under the hood" to see what's wrong

2. The Agony of the Body
Faith does not contradict science
• We are triune beings (body, soul, spirit) created in God's image
• The brain is basically meat, it functions like computer hardware
• The mind is a product of the soul, it functions like software you load onto the hardware
• Medication can help, but only treats the physical aspect of our being (body)
• Sometimes medication may be necessary in order to function properly and/or be able to think clearly enough to address possible causes
• There is no "magic" pill. Medication needs vary with each individual. Doctors rely on documented results and patient input for diagnosis since the brain cannot be monitored with an outside device.
• Treating the whole person
• A balanced perspective must include physical, emotional and spiritual causes and cures
• Blaming the depressed person can be detrimental to recovery [over spiritualization or condemnation]
Focusing on the "software"

• We have limited control over physical causes but we can change what we think and believe

3. The Agony of the Soul
"Hardware" (brain) vs. "Software" (mind)
• The brain records input from the external world through the five senses (hardware)
• The mind compiles and interprets the data (software)
• Past experience affects our world view and attitudes about life
• Beliefs systems are formed which affect how we respond
• Without the Gospel we would just be a product of our past, but when we are born again we become a new creation
• As Christians, we have new internal input (the Spirit of truth leads us into all truth that sets us free)
• Emotions are primarily a product of our thoughts
• How we feel is determined by what we believe
• Beliefs must be examined in a biblical worldview and true perspective of God
• How we feel affects how we act
• Taking every thought captive and examining it in the light of truth

4. Overcoming Hopelessness
• The lie of hopelessness
—Hope is the anchor of our soul (Heb. 6:17-19)
—False perceptions affect outlook
• Hope is the present assurance of some future good
—Hope is like the parent of faith
—Hope in God does not disappoint
• Challenges to hope
• Hope makes the difference, maintain hope in times of trial:
—Fix your eyes on Jesus, author and finisher of our faith
—Hope in God, not circumstances
—Truth begins with truth about God

Dealing with Loss, Chapter 8

a.Preparing for Impermanence

Hope is not in permanence or lack of trials & tribulations. Hope lies in the proven character that comes from persevering through them. Likewise, hope is not in preservation (or protection) of physical bodies, but in the resurrection.

How does a perspective of impermanence, rather than permanence help you to cope in times of crisis?

b. Stages of Grief (see page 216)

Grief and reactive depression can arise from any crisis that interferes with well-intentioned or meaningful plans. Hope is in the finished work of Christ.

Those who find their identity, security and sense of worth in the natural order of things will lose it. Destructive reactive depression signifies an over-attachment to people, places, ideas and things that we have no right or ability to control.
In what way is it helpful to see the cycle of the stages of grief?

c. Explanatory Styles (Why some recover faster than others)

1. The difference is in the way we perceive events that befall us. We interpret trials and tribulations through the grid of our previous learning experiences. We attempt to explain what happened and why it happened. How we explain difficult circumstances and painful events is drawn from our beliefs about God, ourselves, others and the way we think the world works.

2. We come to a crossroads: we can believe the situation is permanent and resign, or see it as impermanent and accept it, saying “I can’t change what happened, but by the grace of God, I can change myself. I can come through this crisis a better person.” How we respond to loss determines whether the crisis makes us or breaks us.

3. Pervasiveness is projecting the experience of loss onto every area of life.
(“My whole life is ruined”) vs. (“I am experiencing a loss in an area of my life”)
If we think our problems will negatively affect us all our lives, then we will become pessimistic, believe that the situation is hopeless and consequently feel depressed.
Since thoughts are beliefs and beliefs affect feelings, in what ways do pervasive thoughts affect your outlook and thereby feelings?

d. Getting out of the Rut

Perspective needs to change (which affects beliefs) from…
Personal: “I’m the problem” to Impersonal: “It’s a problem”
Pervasive: “In everything” to Specific: “In this one thing”
Permanent: “Forever” to Temporary: “For a season”

What other thoughts or feelings are attached to personal, pervasive and permanent modes of thinking listed above?

What other thoughts or feelings are attached to impersonal, specific and temporary modes of thinking listed above?

e. Losses: Are they real, imagined or threatened? First step is to define the crisis and put it into the proper perspective.
Would there be any difference in the experience of loss whether real or imagined?

Would there be any difference in the feelings associated with an imagined or threatened loss once it is looked at with a realistic perspective?

Finding Hope Again Debut A Success!

2009-01-09T07:41:00.000-08:00

Our Jan. 6th debut of the Finding Hope Again series was an outstanding success with 13 enthusiastic people eager for the encouraging message of this series.

The first night was dedicated to an overview of Sheaves of Joy and a little background on how it got started, format and guidelines, the Growth Guide handout, a bit of my testimony, introductions, discussion and taking turns reading the introduction in the book. All within one hour! Since the turnout was so large for this series, after viewing the video teaching each week we will split up into groups of 4 or 5 for the discussion time.

It is my sincere hope that people are encouraged to know there is a place we can come together for support and to hear an encouraging and informative message to help us face our current challenges.

Since Sheaves of Joy is an ongoing support group, new people may come in at any time. Finding Hope Again is the main resource we will be using, returning to it after alternating with other resource materials. Next up in March will be a book by Robert S. McGee entitled The Search for Significance, a book all Christians would benefit from reading. It deals heavily with relationships and how they are affected by your self perception and your perception of God. This will be a book study as there is no video series that I know of to go with the book. That will allow more time for discussion and fellowship.

Sheaves of Joy meets every Tuesday evening from 7:00 - 8:30 p.m. at Freshwater Community Church 4319 Steiner Street St. Bonifacius, MN 55375 (952) 446-9090
If you'd like to attend, please RSVP to sheavesofjoy@gmail.com
http://www.freshwaterchurch.org see sheaves of joy group pages

Sheaves of Joy: Finding Hope Again series begins Jan. 6th

2009-01-05T22:56:00.000-08:00

All are welcome to Fresh Start Life Groups!
Struggling with life issues that are out of control can feel like a lonely battle, but you’re not alone.

Fresh Start offers support groups for a variety of life issues including: divorce care, depression support, grief support, weight control, marriage building, sexual purity, addiction, codependency, childhood sexual abuse and more.

Tuesdays, 7-8:30pm, Freshwater Community Church
4319 Steiner St., St. Bonifacius
www.freshwaterchurch.org
(952) 446-9090
email: sheavesofjoy@gmail.com

child care available.
The only cost is for optional materials if applicable to the group.

Our Life Groups share a similar format and guidelines to ensure that you will have a safe and productive meeting. By sharing experiences, victories, struggles, and hopes with others who are like-minded, you will find a place of encouragement and accountability. Open to the public, come as you are. The evening begins with music, followed by Life Groups.

DEPRESSION SUPPORT GROUP: Sheaves of Joy will be presenting Finding Hope Again beginning Jan. 6th - Mar. 10th

Sheaves of Joy, a Fresh Start Life Group, is an ongoing support group for people who desire to overcome past or present personal crisis and live a happier and healthier lifestyle.

8-part video/book series
Finding Hope Again by Neil Anderson & Hal Baumchen
Begins Tuesday, Jan. 6th 2009 7:00 - 8:30 p.m.
Finding Hope Again speaks to the physical, psychological and spiritual causes and cures for depression. Far from pat answers and simplistic solutions, this book speaks to the whole person.

All are welcome.
Free child care available.

A Letter from a broken heart

2008-11-26T11:27:00.000-08:00

Today I was pleasantly surprised by an email from someone I've never met who has written some articles posted on his website: www.gracefortheheart.org (also listed under the links section of this blog)

This article came to me in a timely moment when I needed some encouragement. I hope that it brings you some encouragement as well, just when you need it the most.

With acknowledgements to the Dear Abby column.
The rest of this article is copyrighted by David Orrison (used here by permission) – www.gracefortheheart.org

Today, 04/09/07, the following item appeared in Dear Abby. Here’s the link for the article and her answer: http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/

It struck me that this is amazingly similar to stories I have heard from people who have left legalism and their faith. It seemed appropriate to rework the question from that perspective and offer it here with a special prayer for those whose hearts are still searching for the love and acceptance that the real Jesus offers.

DEAR ABBY: I recently ended a nine-month relationship with a 40-year-old man I'll call Shallow Hal. I was head over heels in love with him. We had a lot in common and our personalities were compatible, but there was one major problem. Hal loved everything about me, but his love for me was contingent upon my losing weight.

Hal told me that when I lost weight, he would treat me better, let me meet his family and introduce me to his friends. Until I did, he denied me all those things, including hugs and kisses. For nine months Hal strung me along, and I believed that losing weight would change everything and we would end up together, happily ever after.
I am currently working on my master's in counseling psychology, and I should have known better. Clearly, Hal did not accept me for who I was, and I should have ended the relationship long ago because he was not into me. Some days he didn't know if he ever wanted to get married and have kids; other days he did. He was definitely unstable.

Why did I put up with this when I was the one who did all the driving to his house and all the courting? And how do I keep all this from replaying in my mind? I hear his weight comments over and over, and it's self-destructive, but I can't seem to let it go. Why do so many women like me waste so much time on men who simply don't care? The worst part is, I still love him. Please advise me. -- HEARTBROKEN IN WEST CHESTER, PA.

Let’s rewrite this a little:

Dear “Gabby”,
I recently ended a nine year relationship with a god I used to be in love with. He told me that he loved me and I surely loved him, but then I realized that there was a problem. He loved me, but his love was contingent upon my staying away from sin and doing enough good things.

This god told me that when I had my life in better shape, he would bless me more. He would help me to fit in better with his people if I just lived more like them. Until I did, he wouldn’t let me feel acceptable or valued or loved. For nine years he strung me along, and I believed that getting my act together would make the difference and we would be happy forever.

I should have known better. Clearly this god didn’t accept me in the first place and I should have ended the relationship sooner. I never knew what he wanted from me. No matter what I did, it wasn’t enough. I would get one thing straight in my life and he would come up with something else. He was definitely unstable.

Why did I put up with this when I was the one who had to do everything? He promised so much, but I never felt the peace and welcome I needed. He gave nothing. And how do I keep all this from replaying in my mind? I hear his negative comments over and over, and it's self-destructive, but I can't seem to let it go. Why do so many people like me waste so much time on a god who simply doesn’t care? The worst part is, I still love him. Please advise me.

Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,
Thank you so much for being willing to face the difficult truth of your situation and writing to me about it. Over the years I have talked with many people who have gone through the same kind of thing you describe. All are hurt. All feel betrayed and used. All wish it could have worked.

First, let me tell you that there is good news. There is a God who loves you, just not the one you knew. I’ll come back to this down the line. You see, many people have been introduced to this false god. He disguises himself to look much like the true God, but he is very different in his heart. Usually those who introduce others to him are themselves deceived by him. Sometimes they even think they are gaining points with him for their evangelism. They tell you about his love, but they have never really experienced it for themselves.

There are many false gods, of course, but the one you tried to please is the one I call “performance”. The promise, as you state so well, is that love will come if your performance is good enough. However, he never tells you what “good enough” is. In fact, those who have been held up to you as examples never felt as though they were good enough either. No one wins in the performance system. No matter what you do, there will always be something more.

So why did you enter into a relationship with him in the first place? Why didn’t you see the truth? Well, there was the lie, of course. The promises of love and acceptance, forgiveness and victory, were offered as the “carrot on the stick.” He said that you could have all of that and more, but then added that little and most-powerful word – if. If you do this, then you will receive these things. Like so many others, you learned that the “if” was never fulfilled.

But there’s another reason you didn’t see him for what he was. I realize that I don’t know you, but I am confident that he was able to tap into the feelings that were already in your heart. Why did you need his love? Why did you need his acceptance? Wasn’t it because you already felt unloved and unacceptable? Maybe you have done things in your life that made you feel like you were unworthy. Maybe there have been people in your life that have made you feel unworthy. When he came along, he offered to accept you, but then he did the same thing others have done to you and you have done to yourself.

He pointed out your failures and inadequacies. You didn’t reject his opinion because it was already your opinion. It seemed right to you. Then he gave you hope that someday your inadequacies would be overcome. If you just went through the “five steps” or the “seven principles” your whole life could change. You thought he meant that your image of yourself would change. You made it through all five, or seven, or twelve, but you were still the same at the end. So you tried again, using whatever new system he gave you. Your life changed, I suppose, because eventually you had so much invested in the performance system that you could hardly imagine getting out.

Actually, Heartbroken, you are one of the lucky ones. You have seen the truth. There are many people who have never understood that the system doesn’t work. They just think they haven’t done it right. They have accepted his lies about themselves and they just keep on trying, all the while becoming more and more discouraged and tired. But not you. You got out of that relationship. Now what?

Let me tell you the good news. You see, you wanted the right thing. There is Someone who wants to give you just what your heart has needed for so long. His name is Jesus. Yes, I know that was what the other called himself and I know this will be confusing at first. Just remember that he was an imposter. The real Jesus does love you and wants to live in a good and right relationship with you forever.

Let’s start at the beginning. There is one stumbling block you will have to deal with. The false god told you part of the truth. It is truth you have known almost all of your life so it won’t be hard to accept. The only thing that will be hard to handle is admitting that, after all, it is true.

What I am talking about is the fact that you are inadequate and unworthy – on your own. You have done things that are unacceptable, things that have stained your life. After all that you have been through, you probably find that hard to hear, but you still know that it is true. The good news is that Jesus is ready and able to wash those things away forever.

Because of His great love for you, Jesus went to the cross and suffered and died. He paid the penalty for your sins. Read this carefully: that means it is done. The penalty for your sin has been paid. There is nothing more that you can do to pay for them. The debt is paid in full. That means that nothing in your past can ever be brought up again. But there’s more. It also means that nothing you do now or in the future can ever be placed on your account. In other words, Jesus has already paid for the sins you will do. Sin is no longer an issue in regards to the love He has for you or the acceptance you receive from Him.

So here’s something that may seem strange. You can never be good enough on your own, but Jesus has come to make you good enough in Him. He makes Himself responsible for your “good enough.” He loves you and He has done all that it took to make you acceptable forever.

The false god could never make you good. He could only make you think you could do things to become good on your own. So you tried and you worked hard. Jesus has given you His own goodness. He died to give you His life.

But that isn’t the end of the story. When Jesus rose from the dead, He showed all of creation that He was successful. Those who belong to Him are truly forgiven, truly restored, and truly acceptable to the Father. In Him, they have been re-created, given brand new lives. Yet, they are not sent out to “try to do better this time.” They live these new lives forever and inseparably connected to Him. He is, as He says, the Vine and they are the branches.

So, Heartbroken, you are not left alone now. You have rejected the false god, now accept the true love of the One True God, Jesus. Come to Him and find the peace and rest your heart needs. He will never tell you that you do not measure up to His standards because He takes it on Himself to make you righteous and holy. He will never make you wish for hope because He will be your Hope. He won’t ask you to make commitments and promises in order to be acceptable because He has already made the commitment and promise that has made you acceptable.

How will you get the old thoughts of the false god out of your head and heart? By believing the voice of Jesus. Read of Him in His Word and see how much He loved you. Because of Him, you are accepted forever. Because of His love, you never need to feel unloved again.

Write to me again and we will talk more of this. I just want you to know that I care and I am praying for you and so many others like you. There is hope – in Jesus.
Gabby

End note: If you are “Heartbroken” or if her story describes you, please go to http://www.billygraham.org/

Even if you have done this before, now is the time to do it again. Just walk through the simple presentation of the gospel by the Billy Graham folks and then come back to our site at http://www.gracefortheheart.org/default.asp.

Send me an email to tell me what has happened or to ask a question. I am praying for you.
- Dave

The Cost of Independence Part 2

2008-11-15T10:26:00.001-08:00

I thought I'd share my notes of the series we're going through at Sheaves of Joy/Fresh Start. https://freshwaterchurch.ctsmemberconnect.net/home-ctrl.do?view=3&grpId=24385
----
In part one of The Cost of Independence Malcolm talks about how we handle blame, some (like Adam) shift the blame onto someone else. Others, (like Eve) accept the blame and internalize it to mean they are somehow defective, do not measure up, a failure at life.

These are my notes:

(the Adam kind) Can't accept the grave of God. He lives happily with rules. Makes him feel superior. Despises non-rule keepers. "I've got it, I'm better, I'm trying and you're not" ... "I thank you, Oh God, I'm not like other men."

No one must get past my mask...know that I'm less than perfect. The Adam kind needs to be needed... Need imperfect people to prove that they're perfect. Gets buzz from being needed, helping the helpless. The "Adam" people often marry the "Eve" people. Those that feel they have no identity and live by the decisions of another, gravitate toward those that need to be needed...to control...to rescue...to fix...to make perfect. They play off each other... it's the shameful dance.

"I'll even let you hurt me if I can think that I'm helping you." It's twisted thinking. That his emotions are a reflection of your behavior.

Approval addiction. Can't say no, got to say yes to keep everyone smiling and happy. Because our identity is coming from their voice. Identity is coming from their voice instead of God's...When God speaks into you that you're loved, you're suddenly free to say "yes" or "no."

Tragedy is that his approval addiction motivation for pleasing people is mistaken for love. Their motivation isn't really love, it's fear of rejection. "I've got to do something for God to love me." (that equation basically shades all their relationships) Ultimately ends up feeling rejected by God. When you know God love you, you're service will be a response to love, not something you do to get it.

Twisted sense of responsibility...leads to resentment...because they can't say no. They have to rescue...they call it service, dedication for love of God but is it really for ourselves. Not love, love is totally for the other person. It's like a boomerang, comes back to you. God kind of love seeks not its own. .. The approval addict works to feel needed so they feel loved.

Identity is in the thanks they get. We desperately need to know the limitless, unconditional love of God, brought to us through Jesus Christ, by His spirit, fall upon us, call us into wholeness and walk back into our life as new persons.... no longer groveling, controlling, rescuing...Now expressions of God's love. His love does not seek return. He loves me whether I love Him back or not. God loves me for my sake, not His. God's is not compelled to love. He loves by choice... not out of obligation or compulsion (or guilt) It's by FREE choice.

He loves freely, without rewards. God does not seek your happiness and accept blame for your decisions (or unhappiness.) His love is not controlled by our emotions or behavior. God's love kills performance. Because our performance does not manipulate God's love -- we can't earn it.

Repentance is saying that I've been thinking I can perform to be acceptable to God and others, admitting that I've sinned and being willing to come just as I am, no excuses, or blameshifting or bargains with God.

A voice from the outside... I find my worth in what He says about me.. I realize now that I'm loved...unconditional without regard to performance.

He is my refuge, my strength, my Savior and I'm a co-worker together with Him.
---
Reply to this post with your thoughts if you wish. This is not a private forum, but it is monitored.

The Cost of Independence Part 1

2008-11-15T10:22:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd share my notes of the series we're going through at Sheaves of Joy/Fresh Start. https://freshwaterchurch.ctsmemberconnect.net/home-ctrl.do?view=3&grpId=24385
----
Today, at the end of the twentieth century, the human race is still partaking of that original life...that man can find his self-worth outside of God. The New Testament describes man outside of Christ as the first Adam...those who still are partaking of the death that originated in that first choice.

Man is still listening to the voice of the creature, rather than the creator.
Searching...
Driven to make the lie work. Ashamed of not being in control outside of God, they try to neutralize the shame by seeking approval from others.

NOW TWISTED THE EQUATION OF LIFE READS:
What I do + My success at what I do + What you think of what I do = Who I am

Now my identity is tied up in my performance.
Pain of failure is tied to my identity.
Adam disassociated himself from his shame by blame-shifting.
He dumps it onto his wife.
Everyone handles blame differently. Some shift the blame, some receive it. Eve received it.

The eve way: That person feels less of a human being. Disgusted with self, hating self...waves of negative thoughts of self...unlovable, worthless, failure at life.

Driven by fear of rejection, afraid that if they are transparent they'd be abandoned. They'll be a chameleon to please others. "Because I find my identity in your smile." They hide their true selves for fear of rejection.

When you see how God loves you, you will emerge as a person and be yourself.
---
Reply to this post with your thoughts if you wish. This is not a private forum, but it is monitored.

Believing the Lie Part 2

2008-11-15T10:17:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd share my notes of the series we're going through at Sheaves of Joy/Fresh Start. https://freshwaterchurch.ctsmemberconnect.net/home-ctrl.do?view=3&grpId=24385
----
Last week we viewed the second part of "Believing the Lie" in the Search
for Self Worth series by Malcolm Smith.

Malcolm establishes the foundation in this series by explaining that
we were created in the image of God, to be in relationship with Him
and to function dependent upon Him. That we were made to know our
value from a voice from the outside, that voice coming from the one
who made us in His image.

But when another voice came (in the garden to the man and the woman)
casting doubt on God's character, sin came into the world and man
began to believe THE LIE that he could live independently from God.

Part two picks it up at that point.
--
"There is a great longing and hunger in him [man] that only the
Infinite God can fill. He will spend all of his days searching for
someone or something in creation to fill the empty abyss within."

Adam became ashamed of his shame. "I'm supposed to be a god, and I'm
ashamed for not feeling like one."

Looking for identity and significance within himself, ashamed he can't
measure up in himself.

Under scrutiny...raw humanity open to display.
Imperfect, Lonely, Helpless, Ashamed = I'm a disappointment and a
failure and I'm ashamed.

He wants to hide, he's terrified of not being love if exposed as himself.

We hide behind masks in order to be loved. "Don't reject me, just accept me."

[because of sin] Our brain got twisted - he formed an image of God
based on how he saw himself...and built an idol our of his thoughts.
So he had to hide from God.

When God was pursuing them with unconditional love...

We've lost the meaning of unconditional love in society and thereby
our value, so we've turned to other humans and created things to fill
the void...worshiped the creature rather than the creator... (Romans 1:25)

The truth is that I am loved unconditionally, made in the image of God.
He loves me and I respond out of that love.

The Gospel restores man to being truly human - man is completed by
union with God to join as a co-worker with Him in His kingdom work.
------
This concludes notes for the first chapter "Believing the Lie"
Next chapter for Tuesday, October 28, is "The Cost of Independence"
---
Reply to this post with your thoughts if you wish. This is not a private forum, but it is monitored.

Notes on The Search for Self Worth series: Believing the Lie, Part 1

2008-11-15T10:12:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd share my notes of the series we're going through at Sheaves of Joy/Fresh Start. https://freshwaterchurch.ctsmemberconnect.net/home-ctrl.do?view=3&grpId=24385

Believing the Lie Part 1:

Malcolm spends quite a bit of time in the beginning of this first
chapter setting up the foundation for it.

He makes the point several ways and the point is this:
We were created to live in relationship with God -- to KNOW Him.
Humans were not designed to function apart from God.
Human love is conditional according to personal preferences.

This begins his definition of human love vs. God love: Human love is
conditional according to personal preferences,
God love is unconditional, according to WHO HE IS, not what we do.
God delights in us!

His love seeks entrance to the deepest part of our being.
Adam just knew love IS. No justificatIon necessary. It is bestowed
upon him, not something he had to earn.

We were designed to know our worth and value, the knowledge of our
identity by hearing a voice from outside of ourselves, the voice of
our creator saying "I love you and you were made in my image for me."

Made in the image of God + Loved unconditionally + Ability to respond
in relationship = Identity
Life becomes an expression that I know I'm loved.

Then ANOTHER voice came into the garden challenging God's integrity
and casting doubt about His character and the idea of independence
came in...the idea of being in control. This is the LIE.

We just barely go into that part when we had to end so we'll back it
up a bit for next week...
---
Reply to this post with your thoughts on part one if you wish. This is not a private forum, but it is monitored.

Update on The Search for Self Worth series at Fresh Start

2008-11-12T12:04:00.000-08:00

We just had our fourth night of The Search for Self Worth series by Malcolm Smith. I think last night was our most successful group. The messages have been helping several of us, lifting our spirits and encouraging our hearts. We have six nights left in this series and after the new year, we will begin the winter session with a new resource. Depending upon group preference, it will likely be either Finding Hope Again (again) by Hal Baumchen and Neil Andersen or The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee.

Between Freedom and Insecurity

2008-10-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

I find myself being faced with the challenge of being unemployed after nine years working for a ministry with people I love. We are all being shaken.

I was reminded of how a dandelion was designed to reproduce. At the proper time, it changes form until it is light enough that it may be swept up on the wind and taken wherever it goes. It is free but is at the mercy of the wind as to where it will end up. Wherever it lands is home.

Funny thing, last night I saw Seussical the Musical performed by UMD students in Duluth. It's main story is about Horton who believes what he knows is true regardless of what others think of him for it. He watches out for his little friends, the whos who live on a spec of dust that is constantly at the mercy of the wind and anyone whos hands they fall into. It's bad enough that their situation is precarious and unstable, but without someone to protect them and see them through to their resting place they are very vulnerable.

Fall Series: The Search for Self Worth begins Oct. 14

2008-10-01T15:00:00.000-07:00

One of several Fresh Start Life Groups at Freshwater Community Church in St. Bonifacius, Minnesota, Sheaves of Joy is a support group for people who desire to overcome past or present personal crisis and live a happier and healthier lifestyle. Through active participation in this group, confidentiality and prayer support, habitually negative thinking and living patterns can be shifted toward the positive, ultimately turning personal crisis into spiritual fruit.

Fresh Start Life Groups present:
The Search for Self-Worth by Malcolm Smith
Begins Tuesday, Oct. 14th 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Register now for this life-changing 10-week series! 

Feel God's Presence as Malcolm shares with you the answer to man's search for self-worth. We weren't meant to get worth and value from within ourselves or other people or things, but from God who loves us and wants relationship with us. Examine your own life in the light of God's love and watch the Holy Spirit bring about change.

Titles include: 
1) Believing the Lie
2) The Cost of Independence
3) Web of Denial
4) The Search for Love
5) Healing the Hurts

Malcolm gracefully shares the truth of God's Word in a way that will set you free from the codependent cycle of seeking worth and value in any way shape or form apart from God.

Break free from the past!
The unconditional love of God can mend broken hearts and lives!

You may register by email or online at sheaves of joy home page (link below)
sheavesofjoy@gmail.com just let me know you are planning on attending, include name/phone/email please and if you'd like to order a syllabus.
https://freshwaterchurch.ctsmemberconnect.net/home-ctrl.do?view=3&grpId=24385

No cost to attend. $15 syllabus is available (let us know if you'd like us to order one for you)
Child care is available.

Send inquiries to:
Freshwater Community Church
4319 Steiner Street
St. Bonifacius, MN 55375
952-446-9090
http://www.freshwaterchurch.org
sheavesofjoy@gmail.com

Sheaves of Joy expanded focus

2008-09-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

We have recently revised the description for Sheaves of Joy on our website: http://freshwaterchurch.org sheaves of joy group

It now reads, Sheaves of Joy - victory over personal crisis -

This can include issues of depression, self-worth, relational codependency, identity issues, relationship boundaries, etc.

We will be kicking off our fall session on Oct. 14th with The Search for Self Worth by Malcolm Smith.

This is a 10-week series. Anyone is welcome to join us on Tuesday nights, Fresh Start a ministry of Freshwater Community Church

4319 Steiner Street
St. Bonifacius, MN 55375
952.446.9090
Fax
952-446-9373

Starting a support group in your local area...

2008-09-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

I am a fellow Christian and am searching the web for information on how to start a Christian depression support group in my area. Any info. would be greatly appreciated.
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This is a response to a recent post (above) regarding starting a support group for depression.

I didn't start Sheaves of Joy alone, it's one of several small groups held at my church as part of a support and recovery ministry.

But, I did start some online groups. You could start there, facebook has groups, yahoo has groups, google has groups. That's one idea. I also created groups at the websites of my local papers in my area. That is mainly a way of getting the website published.

Then there is this blog.

Beyond that, see if your church will help you set a date for the first meeting and help promote it in the church via announcements, bulletin insert, testimonies, etc. The resources you use may determine what you'll need as far as room, equipment, etc. If you plan to watch a DVD series, then plan for the equipment to watch it on. Let people know where you'll be meeting and what time. You might want to consider sessions and having people register for them so they know how many weeks the material will take to go through. Then when one session is done, you can either take a break, or begin another one with the same or different resource. See some of the resources I've got listed in the pull down menu on the registration form near the bottom.

Check out what we're doing at http://www.freshwaterchurch.org then go to Sheaves of Joy - victory over personal crisis under the groups pull down menu. The home page has a registration form on it and a list of other resources I'm thinking about doing. There is a calendar page, an announcements page, a web links page. I also created an online forum. http://freshstart.myfastforum.org/index.php

Anyone can join the forum (just remember your username and password) and groups. To join the specific support groups, you need to request access by leaving a comment or clicking on the admin to send an email requesting access. These groups deal with sensitive issues so they are private.

I hope some of this is helpful. Let me know how it goes.

Lost Blog Now Found

2008-09-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

My apologies to anyone who tried to post recently. I just recovered my lost password for this blog.

Sheaves of Joy Support Group for Depression

2008-04-28T09:59:00.000-07:00

YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN US ON TUESDAY NIGHTS!
It is good to know that there are others who have struggled with depression and are overcoming! Sheaves of Joy is a support group for overcoming depression that meets Tuesday evenings 7:00-8:30pm at Freshwater Community Church in St. Bonifacius, MN. https://freshwaterchurch.ctsmemberconnect.net/webpage-info.do?view=3&grpId=24385&webPageId=260238

https://freshwaterchurch.ctsmemberconnect.net/home-ctrl.do?view=3&grpId=24385

We have been going through Finding Hope Again by Neil Anderson and Dr. Hal Baumchen

Book/workbook and video series
"What is the answer to depression? Many would offer a narrow explanation focusing solely on either physical or spiritual causes, but not Anderson and Baumchen. A seminary professor and clinical psychologist respectively, they examine depression in light of the whole person - body, mind, and spirit."

Beginning June 3 through August 26 we will be going through The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee

Book/workbook
"Break free from the performance syndrome! Your worth and value is based on God's unchangeable Word, not on what people think. Step off the "performance treadmill," and rest in who God made you to be and experience the joy of abundant life in Christ."

New Freedom in Righteousness

2008-04-28T09:49:00.001-07:00

After a long 3-year struggle with a relapse of depression, I can truly say I have made a break-through. I was in a situation that, for three years had caused an ongoing internal conflict between what I know to be true and desire in my spirit and what I chose to do to fulfill that desire by my own will. Much like the struggle between flesh and spirit Paul describes in Romans. The result was constant inner turmoil. But the fresh realization that I am a slave to righteousness set me free. By being God's bondservant I have been set free from sin and death. (See previous post— today's spiritual java: slaves to righteousness)

Today's Spiritual Java

2008-04-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

Slaves to righteousness

1. The Transaction:
1 Corinthians 6:19:20
You are not your own; you were bought at a price.

2. The Bond Servant:
Exodus 21:2-6
"If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free, If he comes alone, he is to go free alone; but if he has a wife when he comes, she is to go with him. If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the woman and her children shall belong to her master, and only the man shall go free. "But if the servant declares, 'I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,' Then his master must take him before the judges. He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life.

This is a big decision, a choice for life. The judges (v. 6) were present to witness the servant’s willingness to become a bondservant to the master, his willingness to give up his freedom to the master, to work for the master and to do his will.

3. The Mark: A label or a brand?
The difference between saying “I'm a Christian because I believe God exists,” and saying “I'm a Christian because I'm a disciple of Jesus Christ” is like the difference between wearing a label that says “Christian” and having been branded, showing the mark on my skin that says "Christ."

One is external, something you can put on and take off. The other is your life. It's who you are. It's something that can't be separate from you.

4. The Contract: (Slaves to Righteousness)
Romans 6:14 “Sin shall not be your master”

Romans 6:15-23
“What then?” Paul asks in verse 15. Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! God does not want us to sin. We are supposed to obey God.

Paul then develops the analogy of slavery a bit further to make his point: Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? (v. 16).

If you choose sin, you are enslaving yourself to a master who will beat you, make your life miserable, and work you to death. We are not independent of all authority—we are slaves of one power or the other. We have no choice about that, but we do have a choice as who will be our master. We can choose sin, or we can choose God. Why not choose to be a slave of obedience, a slave of doing right? The rewards are much better, not only in the next life but in this one, too.

The Romans had already made the right choice: But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness (vs. 17-18). Obedience is a normal result of faith (1:5).

Why was Paul using the analogy of slavery? I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness (v. 19).

The Romans were weak—all Christians are, in their natural selves. The Romans were slaves of righteousness, and yet they needed to be exhorted to continue. We fight against sin as long as we live in our mortal bodies. It is an enemy that should be resisted. If we don’t resist, it gets worse and worse—ever-increasing wickedness.

We want to be enslaved to doing good. That is because we are already saved, not because we are trying to earn our salvation. We do good works because they are good, because our Savior wants us to do good. And when we do that, it gets better and better—righteousness leading to holiness.

When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness (v. 20). Each slavery has a form of freedom. When we sin, it might look like we are free from outside control, but we are really in slavery. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! (v. 21). Sin produces death, and we do not want to serve that kind of master. What looked like liberty, actually brought bondage.

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life (v. 22). Now, we are no longer under sin’s authority. We are freed from one power, but we are also under obligation: We are slaves to God. However, his benefits are infinitely better: holiness and eternal life. The word slavery is useful as an analogy in that we should obey God.

In what sense is eternal life the “result” of obeying God? Paul would vigorously deny that our obedience causes our salvation—he clearly says that salvation is a gift, based on faith rather than works, on grace rather than payment. Here, Paul is simply making a contrast: obedience leads to holiness instead of shame, and eternal life instead of death.

Why should we deny sin and obey God? For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (v. 23). If we serve sin, we get what we deserve: shame and death. If we serve God, we get eternal life as a gift we didn’t deserve. Choose life, Paul says. Let righteousness rule! Be alive in Christ, not dead in your sins.

New Local Support Groups in St. Bonifacius!

2007-12-07T09:29:00.001-08:00

Beginning Tuesday, Jan. 8, 2008 Freshwater Community Church will kick off their new support ministry called Fresh Start. Fresh Start is made up of several small groups for various support needs.

See the website for more details. You may have to copy and paste these url's into your browser to go straight there. Otherwise, see the Freshwater Church link to the right of this window and on the Freshwater site, go to the groups pull-down menu to Fresh Start and see ministries under the left side menu. There you will see all the support groups offered. Click to go to their page(s).

https://freshwaterchurch.ctsmemberconnect.net/home-ctrl.do?view=3&grpId=21915

For depression support:
https://freshwaterchurch.ctsmemberconnect.net/home-ctrl.do?view=3&grpId=24385

join our new forum for online support day or night!!
http://sheavesofjoy.myfastforum.org/index.php?component=indexpage

Something's Fishy

2007-05-25T08:17:00.000-07:00

The subject is often raised regarding lifestyle comparison between believers and the secular world. The general thought is that as Christians, we should be living lives that are different, that stand apart from the secular world around us. Jesus prayed his disciples would be protected from the evil in the world, saying "They are not of the world, even as I am not of it." (John 17:16) The idea being, that there should be something about our lifestyle that draws others to new life in Christ.

In thinking about this subject, although I agree with the mode, I disagree with the method. I don't believe traditional religious lives lived apart from the world (so as not to be able to relate to others) will cause people to realize their need for salvation through Jesus Christ. I believe it is character that will draw people into relationship with us, and ultimately with Christ. The Bible says that it's God's kindness that draws people into repentance. (Romans 2:4) Godly character is depicted by what the Bible calls the fruits of the Spirit. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." (Galatians 5:22-23) It is essentially, developed by molding our character to be like the character of God. That is what being a disciple is all about. Knowing God and making Him known.

It will be our character that determines our actions, which will be contrary to the ways of the world--setting us apart from the ways of the world. In this way, we will truly be ambassadors for Christ. That is the way Jesus did it. He told his disciples, "Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father." (John 14:9)

Jesus spoke to Simon, called Peter and his brother Andrew as they were casting a net into the lake... "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." (Matthew 4:19 and Mark 1:17) Jesus was calling them to follow Him--to become His disciples, to become like Him and represent Him to the world. When He said, "I'll make you fishers of men," He wasn't making a pun in English. Jesus spoke their language, as fishermen. I believe the "bait" they would use as "fishers of men," would be what they would learn as disciples about developing the character of God

Shifting Out of the "Trapped Mentality"

2006-11-15T18:58:00.000-08:00

"In one sense, it doesn't make any difference whether the precipitating cause for depression is physical, mental or spiritual. Depression affects the whole person, and a complete cure requires a holistic answer. No human problem that manifests itself in one dimension of reality can be isolated from the rest of reality. Like any other sickness of the body and soul, depression is a whole-life problem that requires a whole-life answer." --Finding Hope Again page 21

I've often wondered what came first, chemical imbalance or a sense of loss that leads to depression. In the quote above, the authors' focus is on the process of overcoming depression. The process varies with each person, but one thing remains constant -- change. Whatever the cause or contributing factors, negative thought patterns must shift to positive thought patterns, breaking the "trapped mentality" cycle. I don't think anyone would say this is an easy process.

I've identified some negative thinking patterns in my own life that get "trapped" in a revolving cycle of negativity. For example: I'd like to update my career skills but I don't have the money. I'd like to own a condo but I'm afraid of losing my job.

Think about negative thoughts you might have that keep going around in circles in your head, keeping you in a sort of "trapped" mindset. Then think about some ways of shifting your thoughts out by various methods of distraction. Distraction doesn't take much energy and it's the quickest way to shift out. Positive steps may be taken at later times, but in the depths of despair, what you need urgently, is a way out.

The Option of Medication

2006-11-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

Medication. Just the word conveys negativity in relation to depression. Many Christians struggle with the issue of whether or not to go on meds to treat depression. There seems to be an attitude of "failing as a Christian" or that taking meds means a lack of faith. I do not believe either to be the truth.

Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences about taking meds for depression. Post your comments by clicking on the highlighted word "comments" below.

Today's Blend of Spiritual Java

2006-11-07T18:43:00.000-08:00

Psalm 126:4 Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negev.

126:5 Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

126:6 He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

Matthew Henry Concise Commentary

Verses 4-6 The beginnings of mercies encourage us to pray for the completion of them. And while we are in this world there will be matter for prayer, even when we are most furnished with matter for praise. Suffering saints are often in tears; they share the calamities of human life, and commonly have a greater share than others. But they sow in tears; they do the duty of an afflicted state. Weeping must not hinder sowing; we must get good from times of affliction. And they that sow, in the tears of godly sorrow, to the Spirit, shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting; and that will be a joyful harvest indeed. Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be for ever comforted. When we mourn for our sins, or suffer for Christ's sake, we are sowing in tears, to reap in joy. And remember that God is not mocked; for whatever a man soweth that shall he reap, Gal 6:7-9 7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature[a]will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Here, O disciple of Jesus, behold an emblem of thy present labour and future reward; the day is coming when thou shalt reap in joy, plentiful shall be thy harvest, and great shall be thy joy in the Lord.

You Are Welcome Here!

2006-11-07T17:55:00.001-08:00

Welcome to the Christian Support for Depression blog site!
It is my sincere hope that you will find comfort, encouragement and inspiration here.

You are welcome to join us at Soul Renewal, Open Arms -- a support group for those struggling with depression. Soul Renewal is a ministry of Evergreen Community Church. The evening begins at 7:00 with a time of praise and worship, then we break out into small groups from 7:30-9:00pm. There is a time for food and fellowship following small group time.

Meetings are held Monday evenings at Emmaus Lutheran Church in Bloomington, Minnesota. Emmaus is located at 8443 Second Ave S, Bloomington, MN 55420 on the corner of 85th St and Second Ave S, about six blocks south of 494 and three blocks east of Nicollet Ave S (just east of 35W).

For more information about Soul Renewal click on it's link on the side bar.

We are currently going through the book, video and workbook on Finding Hope Again by Dr. Neil Anderson (founder and president of Freedom in Christ Ministries) and Hal Baumchen (licensed clinical psychologist) see related links on the side bar. Anyone suffering from depression will find hope and encouragement in this book.